declaration of war

Dear Muffin Top,

Let's be honest. I hate you. In fact, "loathe" would be accurate.
I am tired of staring at you billow over my pants, smirking at me with your fluffy rolls. You ruin once cute shirts with no regard for decency.
No. Don't try and defend yourself with "child bearing" and other such excuses.
The time has come. You must go. I declare war on you. You have hung around my midsection for far too long.
I will fight you with ceaseless energy. I will laugh as you shrink and finally disappear.
I will fight you with every step I run. I will battle you at every meal!
Consider this your warning o' muffin top. You have enjoyed your last squishy day. Our relationship has long been strained, it was bound to come to this. Good riddance!

Regards,

mb